Being a Guest at a Small Wedding
As a small wedding planner, I'd much rather attend a small wedding! It's much more personal and I would feel honored to be one of the few guests invited to the couple's small wedding. My friend Jessica recently attended her brother's small wedding. I wanted her to write more about her experience.
So often wedding magazines highlight huge, expensive weddings. The guest lists for these lavish events are so big that the newly married couple won’t even be able to name half of their guest list at their one year anniversary gathering. Although these kinds of events can be fun, because they’re so over the top, I personally prefer being a guest at a small wedding.
There are many perks of small weddings. Not just for the newlyweds-to-be, but also for their guests. If you’re feeling pressure to throw a big wedding, but in your heart you’d love to have an intimate event, here are reasons you should follow that small wedding impulse from a guest’s perspective.
You get more time with the newlyweds on their special day.
When you go to a big wedding, even if you’re close friends with the couple, you end up getting lost in the shuffle. The married couple is obligated to check in with all of their guests at least once during the course of the wedding and reception. At big weddings, as a guest, you pretty much get to say “hi, lovely wedding, congrats, and bye” in the receiving line.
Small weddings, on the other hand, give guests the opportunity to be a part of your special day. As a guest at a small wedding, I feel special, because I get to be a part of every aspect in a more up-close way, without the stress of being in the wedding party. I get to have more conversations with the new couple, and therefore make more memories. Being a guest at a small wedding versus a big wedding is like the difference between sitting up close at a concert event where you get to shake the lead singer’s hand or back on a balcony behind a pillar.
The food is better at small weddings.
There, I said it. The food is usually better at small weddings! When a couple is paying for hundreds of plates of food—unless the couple is very wealthy–they have to be much more conscientious about price. This means that sometimes the food isn’t as good, because the focus is on quantity, instead of quality.
Also, I would always rather eat food at a small wedding, because you often get a look into the married couple’s favorite types of food. Even if the food isn’t high end, there’s usually a story behind it, like a first date or a favorite childhood meal.
The focus is on the couple.
As an attendee, I feel the day should be more focused on the couple, than herding guests and keeping them happy. It’s really hard to keep 100 or more people happy all day! Small weddings put the attention where it should be: the couple. Small weddings always feel more intimate, even for guests. As a wedding guest, you get to revel in the small details that your friends could afford, like personalized napkin rings or specialty center pieces, because their money wasn't being reallocated towards guests’ comfort.
There’s usually a lot less drama!
Weddings are high stakes events. Emotions run high. When you’re able to limit your guest list, you don’t have to invite your weird third cousin who’s going to creep all of your friends out, and as a guest, I appreciate that!
Also, no one has to worry about “so and so not sitting close to so and so,” because they don’t get along. Being a part of a small wedding means that the guest list is more curated. As a guest, staying away from drama makes the day much more enjoyable.
Small wedding guests are more likely to be in cherished wedding pictures.
At big weddings, unless you’re in the wedding party, you probably won’t get your own picture with the new couple. This can be disappointing if you’re a close friend. At small weddings, you get your picture with the couple, and become a part of their cherished wedding photo album. (Natalie's take on this - Yes, at our weddings the couple gets photos with all the guests! At my wedding I only got photos with my immediate family. I really missed getting photos with more people.)
You get to travel to exciting places.
Small weddings can turn into destination weddings! As a wedding guest, it’s so fun to get to travel to somewhere special, so you get to enjoy the wedding and a bit of a vacation. I’ve been to a small wedding where there were five guests and after the ceremony we all swam with dolphins! It was such a special wedding.
You actually get to eat dessert!
It’s easy to miscalculate cake size with a huge guest list. I’ve been to a wedding where they ran out of cake before everyone got a piece, because they miscalculated! That would never happen at a small wedding. At small weddings, you get your cake and your guests get to eat it, too!
