Elopements or small weddings are the way to go! They allow the couple to have an intimate, meaningful ceremony and focus on the importance of their commitments to each other. The ceremony is the promise you make to each other. Elopements used to be secret weddings where couples would run away to an Elvis drive-in to get hitched. Now, they are much more.
It is great to have an elopement or small wedding because:
-There is less pressure to plan the event.
There are no extra details like selecting wedding favors for guests, juggling life and wedding planning, deciding who wants beef or chicken, or listening to people’s opinion even though you didn’t ask for their advice.
You can focus your energy on what’s important.
Being married is the important part, not really the show you put on for other people.
-You will have more money in your pocket.
Weddings can be pretty expensive, with the average cost of about $100 per person. I’m sure you and your fiancé can think of better ways to spend those big bucks! How about a nice honeymoon, down payment on a house, or pay off some bills?
-You can get married more quickly.
There is no need to schedule things in advanced or work with friends’ and families’ schedules. You are engaged; you love each other; get to it, already!
-You can still have a party!
Yes, you can still have a party….and still get gifts. This was my husband’s biggest reason for not liking the idea of a small wedding. In order to share your celebration with others, plan to have something before or after the special day. For party planning ideas, see our blog.
If you are considering having a small wedding read some tips on how to cut your guest count:
When we were first planning our wedding, my husband and I wrote down a list of everyone who we wanted at our wedding. That initial list was about 150 people. It included distant relatives, junior high school friends, and people who we just started hanging out with. We knew we had to cut the list since we were on a budget and wanted a more intimate wedding. In the end we ended up having 45 guests at our wedding and it was perfect!!
I’m sure some of you are thinking 45 guests, how are we going to cut our list down to that little of people!! Below are some tips that helped us:
Relatives – We all have those relatives who we hardly ever see. They may live far away or be the ones you only see on holidays. These relatives may be the ones to think twice about inviting. I’m sure there are some relatives you spend more time with – we saw my Uncle a few times during the year and my cousin and I email a few times a month. Those relatives were ones that were on my list.
Friends – Picking the friends to put on our list was the hardest part of the guest list. The last thing we wanted to do was hurt a friend’s feelings. I chose the friends that meant the most to me – those whom I couldn’t imagine not having at my wedding. These were the friends who I knew were going to be in my life 3 or 5 years from now, those friends who actually took the time to call me on my birthday rather than just posting a message on my Facebook wall, and those friends who called to check on me when I was down in the dumps. This list takes some time because you really need to sit back and think about those different types of friends. Search from within and think who you really want at your special day.
Family member’s friends – Your parents may want to invite their friends to your wedding or your sister may want her best friend at your wedding. The problem is that it is your wedding and each person someone else invites is someone who you have to cut from your list. You can stick to your guns and be up front with them and tell them you are sorry but you can’t add extra people since you both want a small intimate wedding or you can tell them they can choose one couple/ person to invite to the wedding.
Hurt feelings – You will probably have a person or two who is mad you didn’t invite them to the wedding. Sometimes, people just do not make it on the list. If you are feeling bad about not inviting someone, consider calling them or next time you see them explain that it was really hard to pick who to invite to your wedding and that you decided to have a small wedding and are really sorry you couldn’t invite them. Some people just might not make it on your list.
Split the list – If you are still having problems with the list, divide it up between the two of you. If you only want 50 people and your list is at 70, then you get to chose 25 people and your spouse gets to chose 25 people. This way each of you are allowed to nix the people off your own list and there are no hard feelings if your wife cuts your friend from childhood. You are the one in control over who makes it on the list and there are no arguments.
Back up list – This is another plan once people start rsvping. If you start asking around early if friends can or cannot make it and find out someone can’t make it, then you can send an invite to someone else on your back up list. The trick is in the timing so your back up guests don’t know they are on the back up list. This list can be a little tricky, so maybe only put a few couples on that list.
When we asked our friends who had 100 plus guests at their wedding, if they would recommend having a large wedding, they said definitely not. For us, we were able to enjoy the guests who were at the wedding. I felt like we could mingle and say hi to the guests and thank them for coming. Our small wedding allowed us to save some money on the wedding, while having a great celebration with the people who really meant something to the two of us.
All these reasons hopefully answered your questions as to why have a small wedding
For reasons to get married on the Central Coast see our blog.