Stress Free Wedding Day

By December 19, 2018 July 15th, 2019 1. Wedding Planning, 3. Our Happy Couples, Blog


By having a wedding planner or the services of Coastal California Weddings, we help to prevent as much of the wedding stress as we can!  We’ve found some simple things that the couple can do months and weeks before the wedding to make sure they have a stress free wedding day.

Here’s some tips and tricks we found for having a stress free wedding day!

  1. Don’t stress about the little things!

Those last few weeks tend to be the most stressful.  All those last minute things on your to do list, calls from friends and family, travel plans and packing.  

To keep yourself from pulling your hair out and have a stress free wedding day, don’t worry about the little things!  Take that list and cross of the things that don’t really need to get done.  Yes, take that list out right NOW, along with a pen, and cross off the unnecessary things that aren’t really that important but are adding to your wedding to-do list.

For me, I remember not doing a few things for my reception.  For the little things, answer this questions, “how important is it to me and my wedding if I don’t do that item on the to do list?”  If getting a mani and pedi are on the list, don’t scratch that one off. You will relax a little and feel a little more like a princess on your special day.  But, if getting a wedding garter is on your list, maybe cross that one off. These things are so hard to find.  Other ideas may be to ask friends and family for help.  If your sister is going to Michael’s for a few extra things, ask her to grab a few of the items on your to do list. 

Here’s some example of that question “how important is it that you…”. 

If your list talks about getting a few more wedding props for your photo booth and what happens if you don’t get a few more props for our photo book?  If you already have props it’s not that important to add a few extras.  But if your question is something like, how important is it for me to write my vows, this may be something more important to my fiancé.  I remember I had a bride who was stressing about getting colored table cloths for her reception.  The reception venue already had white ones on the tables, so we both decide it would be a lot easier for her just to use the white ones and add a little color with flowers on the tables. There was no need for her to drive 2 hours away to get colored table cloths.

Ok, you know what the little things are, and what really doesn’t matter on your wedding day. I hope a few things are crossed off and you feel less stressed.

Unnecessary Worries – written by a bride after her wedding

Here’s what Erin, a bride who had a simple elopement in San Francisco. She tells about the story of her wedding day and what was truly important.  She shares some tips for a stress free wedding day.  It’s just a good read!

Somewhere along the line, I am positive I was reassured that I should not stress out over the details for our wedding day.  I either wasn’t listening or thought that it did not apply to me.  How wrong I was!  After everything was over and done with, I realized I had spent so much time worrying about things that I shouldn’t have.  I lapsed into moments of tears when people forgot things, got consumed with timing and I forgot to enjoy the moment and had a meltdown over people not behaving the way I wanted them too.  I distinctly remember sitting at a table with my now-husband having coffee and starting to sob because I tried so hard to get our families to do something together and realized that most simply were not interested in doing anything.

Looking back, I would have done a few things differently.  Here are some lessons learned from a bride on the other side of wedding planning:

First and foremost, I would have relaxed more!  Things just were not that big of a deal as I made them out to be.  I wish I had come to the conclusion earlier that most people who travel for a destination wedding would appreciate some time to do things that they want to do.  For example, my brother and his children had never been to San Francisco.  Why force them into events if they would prefer to go exploring the Golden Gate Bridge or Alcatraz?  With so many vendors and friends and family telling me it was “our day,” I forgot to let other people enjoy themselves too.

The only person that is going to care about your wedding as much as you is your groom – and even then, he will come in second.   Admittedly, there were moments during the planning stages of our wedding when I wondered if my groom would even notice that we didn’t have any flowers.  This was deranged thinking of Bride Brain, an overstressed mind obsessed over small details.  Of course, he would have noticed. 

Floral arrangements, other than the bridal bouquet, will only be noticed briefly.  I worried about the centerpieces for our lunch reception and for the bistro tables only to find that the arrangements were only admired briefly.  I absolutely loved our flower arrangements; our florist put a lot of effort into arranging our centerpieces and my bridal bouquet.  I can stare at flowers all day long, the average wedding guest is most likely too distracted to note every detail of the flower arrangements.  It was halfway through our reception that I realized we had nowhere to bring these beautiful arrangements.  We couldn’t drive down the coast with a trunk full of centerpieces and a bird-of-paradise ikebana display.  I brought along my bridal bouquet, and that was it.  

Micromanaging would not have been appreciated or relaxing at all.  In most situations, I do not appreciate being micromanaged so why would I expect other people would enjoy it?  This goes back to my first lesson learned: relax!  The vendors we worked with are professionals and know what they are doing.  That is what makes them professionals!  In hindsight, I wish I had just left everything to them and let go of trying to force pre-wedding activities.  I wasted so much time thinking about these things that I was not able to enjoy the moment – several times!

Remember, this is a day you will cherish forever.  Keep sight of the things that are really important – you are about to marry the love of your life and family and friends have traveled to see you get married.  What else can one ask for?  Relax, spend time together, write a gratitude list, and spend some time reflecting on the real importance of getting married.

      2. Don’t be rushed on your wedding day

Make sure to plan out all the activities of the day and give yourself plenty of time.  

I’ve seen brides who use hair and make up people who aren’t experienced with wedding days and the getting ready time lasts too long.  The gals we use travel to your room for getting ready to make things a lot easier with the timing. This makes the day easier for you and creates a stress free wedding day.  Put a family member or guest in charge of the time line and following it. 

For the day of, don’t decorate or think you will finish up last minute activities. The day of your wedding day should be for relaxing, enjoying and celebrating.

I’ve seen a lot of brides decorating their reception venue on the day of the wedding.  Things don’t go as planned at the reception venue with the decorations and then the bride is spending way too much time decorating instead of getting married. One bride brought in a large table name sign and the sign didn’t fit into the reception space so it had to be taken down and reassembled, then the note cards were left at the hotel and there was no time for her to get her make up done. 

     3. Stay the night before in town, don’t arrive on the day of your wedding to get ready.

That also goes for you and also other important guests. 

We’ve had to wait 30 minutes for a groom’s parents to arrive to the wedding.  This gave the couple only 5 minutes with pictures of the 2 of them.  Yes, maybe it’s expensive to get a hotel room, but in the long run having enough time for photos and for the ceremony will make for a better wedding day.

     4. Do a trial run with your dress, shoes, and accessories.

No matter what you are wearing on your wedding day, try it on and see how it looks.  Walk around in it, jump around with it on, and check yourself out in the mirror. 

Read below about some outfit malfunctions and why it’s important to do a trial run. Stay calm and celebrate!  

It’s sad when I see couples who aren’t happy about their wedding day because things were way too stressful with all the extras they decided to add.  This doesn’t happen much, but when it does I realize the bride took on way too much of the wedding details.  This is where my dislike of Pinterest comes in – it’s those couples who want a Pinterest wedding but don’t have the team or budget it takes to get a Pinterest wedding.  It’s also the expectations that extra “stuff” makes a wedding more special.  It’s those elopements of just the couple that many times are the most special and truly about love.  Now, if you are planning a small wedding with guests, don’t email me right now and say you want to just elope.  I’ll just say no, lol!  But, if you are feeling like that, I’m happy to talk you down…that’s what I’m here for. Yes, weddings can be stressful, and yes you are going to have a few butterflies, and yes, someone isn’t going to like something you are doing. Just remember this is about the love the two of you share and pledging that love to each other. So – stay calm and celebrate!

I’m not going to share the stories of couples who had little snags along the way with the day. But, I’m happy to say all of our couples were happy couples who had a simply amazing wedding and a stress free wedding day.

Tips to Prevent Outfit Malfunction 

Here’s some more information about outfit malfunction on your wedding day and why doing a trial run is so important.  Not to mention, it will help you have a stress free wedding day.

Gals

  • Make sure your dress isn’t see through – if it is get spanks or  a sexy slip
  • Make sure your bra straps are not showing – this would be on the shoulders, if the dress is too low, or  if your dress has a “v’ in the back area or is lower in the back. This also goes for a strapless bra. The worst is having a bride who always pulls up her dress.
  • Check slips that are built into dresses – theses are the slips that are attached to a dress, but move around the minute you walk in the dress. Cut out all slips or pieces of clothes that are attached to your dress.
  • Cut off the plastic straps that help the dress to hang on the hangers.
  • Maybe a no brainer, but cream colored underwear works the best, no colored chonies 
  • Undergarments are actually an important thing to finish the look of your dress.  My favorite is actually a strapless spankx. It just pushes and flattens out your overall look.  It’s a little bit of a splurge, but you will have them the rest of your life.

Guys

  • The most popular outfit malfunction on a wedding day is the back of the suit jacket not being clipped.  When the jackets are made, there are stitches that are made to hold the back flaps of the jacket together. Cut off these little threads.
  • If you did happen to get a suit you had dry cleaned, check for tags that get stapled to the clothes.  
  • Iron or dry clean shirts to keep them wrinkle free
  • Get your pants tailored or shortened if they are too long.